Third

Bizzy Bizzard lol

So the past few weeks have been pretty busy! Missed out on Hinckley because we were moving into our new place that weekend. Thanks to Pange, Seeb and Auntie Free for helping us move that day and for the fondue later that evening mmmm mmmm mmm

Last week I had class from 9-4 each day and really didn't get to enjoy the place and settle in like I wanted and then my husband went on a road trip to Alberta for a drum contest this past weekend while I thought I'd dust off my outfits and head to Wisconsin to see if I could still hang in and compete an entire weekend. Last time I competed was November in Winnipeg.

It really made me happy when I discovered this past weekend that I haven't fallen too terribly out of shape (at least not as bad as I thought I did!) as I hung in there and danced hard all the songs I got. I had a great feeling after our 2 awesome songs on Saturday night.

It was nice to get back out there yet I am not sure if I want to continue exerting all my energy running head-on into a brick wall. And as I sat there Saturday night checking out "the scene" and observing "how it goes" a song came on. One I haven't really heard for awhile but used to jam to in my car when I was all alone. Even though it wasn't "popular" and not many seemed to appreciate it; something about it struck me when I first heard it on the radio when I was 18 or 19 and all I knew was I liked the song-the sound-the words-everything about it. I took it as a sign that maybe I should consider going another route and instead being all about dancing; focus on other artistic ventures. Whether it be singing karaoke, powwow backup singing, having a jam session with my sisters (who both have been blessed with wonderful singing voices) or maybe start writing again because lately I've been having these bursts of writing prompts and ideas for short pieces. I'd especially like to get back into that after watching Brighton Beach Memoirs last night (I thank Pange for introducing and borrowing it to me) =) I could also be the designer and outfitter to the local dancers around here too as I'm always getting sewing order inquiries and it's nice to know that people like my work enough to want to wear it or their kids to wear it.

I don't think I'll ever quit dancing; I love it too much. But maybe just quit registering and pinning a number on my sleeve and lining up to be judged. I'm talking about still putting on my best and giving it my all but not entering the competition. I've been around long enough to see and know "how it goes" and I don't really think it's right when dance competitions are hardly judged on dancing these days but rather on if you're connected, who you know/who wants to know you...powwowtics...is a word I've heard to describe this. I'm not saying that the dancers who win a lot are bad dancers, a lot of them work hard at practicing, keeping up with the newest and latest trends in outfit design and can jam out there without breaking a sweat and they are awesome dancers (some of whom I respect and look up to as a fellow dancer) but it's kind of getting kind of old when I can show up at a powwow, see who is all there and generate a winners' list for my category shortly thereafter and way before winners are announced. Usually I'm pretty accurate with that.

Yeah I could go around and be merry and self-promote myself to the right people but I wouldn't be comfortable with that although I don't have a problem chatting with people as I did this past weekend but you know how sometimes you get that feeling that they're being fake or they're on "screensaver mode" and will talk to you but you know they would rather be somewhere else than stuck talking to a peon like you lol Unless you have something to offer them or have something they want. I've never been one for shallow attitudes, been going against it ever since I observed this type of behavior in middle school. I dunno some people are cool with it and I'm not passing judgment I'm just sayin I don't think it's for me.

Forgive me if I sound negative or bitter but I'm not trying to convey that through this post. It's mainly a reflective post on some of the things I've been through/observed over the years. It's nice when people tell me I should have placed; mainly family and some spectators and I am fine with that because you are supposed to dance for the people and that's what I'm doing. Lately I could give a rat's ass if I place or not lol I've had people tell me not to quit and I never will =) As my dad put it once at a powwow "quitters never win and winners never quit" sure I don't make it to the winner's line too often but I feel like a winner nonetheless because I go out there and give it my heart and soul when I dance. It makes me feel really euphoric like I did this past Saturday night and that's all I need. =)

And now here's that song I heard at the lounge on Saturday night, Auntie Teen took a liking to it too and asked me to send her the name of it and the artist. So without further adieu here is The LA Song by Beth Hart (too bad she wasn't there to sing it live on Saturday night)



Beth Hart Lyrics
L.A. Song Lyrics

posted by J*me @ 9:10 AM